Some of us were brought up with the value of ‘being kind’ or ‘learn how to share/give’ but unfortunately, it seems some people were brought up with the (dis)value of take, take and take from people ‘until they have nothing more to give’. Kindness may be monetary, time or even a good advice (one advice to someone may change a significant thing in their life).
There are some people who really find it difficult to ask or seek for help, because either they’re not used to asking or they have their pride (the good pride of independence) – but sometimes ask for the help they really need. When they receive the help, they show appreciation and off they go. Then, there are others who ask for help once and expect your ‘shop’ to be opened all year round. The day the shop closes – friendship ends.
Many people have gone through tears and hardship to be where they are in life. They had to forgo luxury, work like elephants and eat like ants because if they don’t, they can’t achieve some goals they’ve set before them. If this person who is now comfortable – stretches out his/her arm of kindness to help someone that does not mean the person should be your pillow all the time. We take people’s kindness for granted too much and it’s always the people who give that most of the time, never get a helping hand when they are in dire need.
Personally, I think good people die early because they think everybody is/should be like them – good. They open themselves to undeserving people to abuse their kindness; before they realise what is left of them – the shock alone takes them to their early grave. The fact that you cannot cheat, steal, lie or be ‘wicked’ does not mean everybody should be/is like that. There are people who are now ‘mean’ and I just don’t blame them because someone turned them that way and other people have found themselves in a rut because they were helping a friend out.
I’m not going to be anti-bible here, but don’t use ‘there’s more in giving than receiving’ to cover your face and allow people to abuse you. If the soil (the person) in which you’re sowing the seed (kindness in any form) is not going to be fruitful enough not to (even) yield profit for you but for the person to be self-sufficient, change soil or keep your seed. There are some people until you show them tough love, you’ll starve and they’ll be fattened. There are different levels of help – there is help and there is help…don’t help people to be lazy and dependant because the forever kind brother, sister or friend is always on hand to bail them out.
If you think there’s a thin line between love and hate – the line between respect and gross disrespect is much thinner because that is what you’re most of the time paid back with – gross disrespect and that is when you’re financially and mentally drained to help anymore. Ironically, it is people who may be of ‘significance’ in our later life that we may make them pay for all the ungratefulness people have directly or indirectly paid us with – which makes it so unfair. We always deal with such people with so much caution that by the time they come to realise the ‘real’ you, you’ve already been tagged mean – all because someone abused your kindness to a pulp.
Most of time, just say enough is enough and keep an opening and closing time on your ‘shop’. A simple no is also in order without the need to apologise. Everybody has his/her threshold of patience and the last time I checked, nobody is god, we’re humans and we feel….Don’t take people’s abuse of kindness and don’t abuse people’s kindness because the day you desperately need help, that is the day you’ll know that the most courteous person on this earth has a bit of rudeness in them!
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